Mantra Monday-What's Faith?

Happy Monday!

This Monday's mantra is sponsored by a day trip I took with The Bird this weekend.

When God said, "On the seventh day, you shall rest," He knew we needed it.

This weekend, I rested on the sixth day, which I don't think is of any consequence. Although we did get to Mass on Sunday, like we always do.

Saturday, felt like May around here. After munching on some raisin toast for breakfast, I said to the Bird, "Let's go to Wildwood to have dinner with your sister and the girls."

"Seriously?," he asked. "You want to ride down and come back today?"

"Yup," I said finagling my way up from the lazy boy made for one but that morning we used for two.

We checked in with my sister-in-law. "Sure!" she said. In a matter of an hour, we headed out of the driveway, Jersey Shore bound.

With the windows down, we popped in my IPod and I serenaded my husband the whole two hours down.

On my IPod, Usher is sandwiched between Michael Card, a Christian song writer and Frank Sinatra. Usher'sYeah followed my favorite song by Michael Card, That's What Faith Must Be. At that point, The Bird turned to me, peaked over the top of his sunglasses and said, "That's some eclectic collection you have there."

I smiled as he tapped me on the head and we both laughed.

On the ride to and from the shore, I replayed That's What Faith Must Be about four times. The song speaks to me, especially now as I write my memoir. Any writers out there know what a crap shoot writing is. You wonder if the effort is worth it, if you are really hearing God correctly and doing His Will. You get no immediate feedback after pouring your heart and soul onto the page.

There are plenty of days when I make my way into my office and Doubt greets me, with his feet resting on my sofa, hands folded behind his head.

"Oh, wow. You came back.Really? That's surprising," he says, milling around the office, picking up various things and examining them like he's new to the place. "I thought we went over this already. You have no idea if what you are writing or saying is any good or will ever have any real impact. In fact, I thought I convinced you this effort was a total waste of time."

I reserve a special spot just for him when he shows up. I pop open my problem notebook, and start telling on him. After I scribble down every insult he levied, good and satisfied I didn't miss anything, I shut my notebook and turn to him. "So noted, Doubt, but if you're going to keep showing up in my office, you'll have to live inside this notebook."

In a memoir writing class my instructor encouraged us to get a "problem" notebook. She suggested we spend a few minutes jotting down all our doubts, fears, anxieties, challenges, and worries each time we sit down to write. The beauty of the process is to rid your mind of all the anxieties that sabotage the creative process. My favorite part of this exercise is that you write in the notebook with the idea someone else will come along to solve the issues written inside. My problem notebook is now home to Doubt but on Saturday, this jerk hopped in the car to do a ride along.

No problem notebook easily accessible, I did the next best thing when he started yapping in the backseat. I listened to Michael Card's That's What Faith Must Be."

The lyrics squash my doubts, worries, concerns.

To hear with my heart, to see with my soul,

to be guided by I hand I cannot hold,

to trust in a way I cannot see,

that's what faith must be.

I love this song because lyrically it reminds me that faith is a mystery. It requires oodles of trust. Trust in something that takes on no physical from, we can't see or hold. That's a tall order but in just over two minutes, the song reminds me that my decision to write is rooted in faith and faith my dears, is a mystery.

Don't misunderstand me, I struggle with that on a daily basis. But in my dark moments, I remind myself that faith is a mystery and I forge ahead in well, faith (sometimes kicking and screaming).

This week, I'll only be posting today. I'm off to a conference for a good part of the week but check back next week, God willing, I'll be here. ;-)

What keeps you forging ahead when you feel uncertain? Try the song. It's catchy.

Blessings!